You regain it little by little

Who you were before it all started

Before the calculator, the optimizer

You laugh freely for the first time in years and it sparks a connection that races down the memory lane of your neurons and subconscious, linking you to the past self who once, laughed freely


The she who did not say

“Sorry for laughing so much, sorry for taking up too much of this situation” The she who cried when she was sad

You starved yourself for a while

of emotion, of sadness, of joy

You pretended to be polished,



No storms, only a sheen of success

You gave yourself no space for emotions or motion

and now you are a torrential downpour of emotions

and no one can handle you

not even you

“You’re making yourself worse” they say

“You’re too much” they say

and then you need to say

I may be too much for you

I don’t even know what’s going on

But this is who I am

and this is who you’ll get

So make your plans knowing that

It may be a lonely road

but for the first time in a long time

You remember who you are

and you are walking on your path again